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Knock on wood

The cloud has lifted itself from overhead. He’s with me and I’m happy. That’s all I ever wanted. 



#happiness  #depression  #learning  #growth  #romantic feeling  


Life.

I don’t think happiness is the point anymore. I’m so aware when I’m happy. I feel it so strongly because it’s so different from my usual state of being. I think it’s overrated. Happiness. We have the right to pursue it but not to actually be it. Because it doesn’t exist. I’d rather be self-satisfied. I don’t think happiness makes you feel self-satisfied. Liberation makes me feel self-satisfied. 

When do I think I’m happy? When I’m with friends? In a relationship? Clearly neither of those are really true. Both require me to conform in some way. How do I want to be perceived? How am I being perceived? I don’t want to have to answer to anyone or censor myself. Besides both situations involve people. Who cannot be trusted. People certainly do not make me feel self-satisfied. 

I feel the greatest sense of liberation when I’m alone. Driving. With the music so loud I can’t hear myself think. I’m free do whatever I want.

And I am satisfied.  

Which I think is the point. 



#life  #happiness  #satisfaction  #selfsatisfaction  #friends  #heartbreak  #heartache  #themeaningoflife  


Butterflies

It’s been such a long time since I’ve felt this happy about something. God, I’d forgotten what it was like. And for the first time in a long time I can’t wait for school on Monday. 



#butterflies  #happiness  #newcrushes